New Media Slander at it's best. We're all you have left.

ON HOLIDAYS!!
For the next few months Slanderous will be taking a break from the crazy, mixed up world of New Media. We'll be back in September (or earlier, if things get out of hand) wicked and ready for more!

MARK AMERIKA NAMED IN PATERNITY ACTION!!!

Posted August 2
New media star. Mark Amerika has admitted to being the father of Nicole Richie's baby in situ. Mark was quoted as saying,"Well I need someone to keep me grounded, on line, in the groove, and Nicole seemed like the natural choice. We're in love and we hope our child follows in our all-star footsteps"

Nicole was unmoved, " well.., he's like male..., ya know.., he did what he had to do... he has a thing ..., ya know.., my Dad wants him to disappear, but hey, he's not a complete dweeb..., but he's no lead singer of Good Charlotte..., wish he was...." DUH!!!, so does Mark!
But really..., who is Nicole Richie?

JEFF MANN RETURNS!!!

Posted June 5
After years in the Euro wilderness,and numerous operations to alter his appearance, the former Toronto native has returned to wreak vengeance on the CBC and other media outlets. But does his new look, look new?

In the age of distributed artwork you can never go to far to avoid the lizard like gaze of our reporting staff. The press release proposes " How can creative individuals use microcontrollers to produce evocative, compelling
objects and experiences that go beyond typical mass-produced consumer products? "... Well we just don't know!

YES MEN NEED YOUR HELP

Posted May 28, 2007
Slanderous supports the YES MEN!!!
"In under two weeks, the Yes Men will speak on behalf of what may well be the world's nastiest company at a very important conference. We've got foul plans - but we need your help.

The last time we asked for your money, your gifts enabled us to present the Halliburton Survivaball to insurance industry lawyers
(http://www.theyesmen.org/agribusiness/halliburton/). This time, our plans are about three times as tasteless, weird and elaborate. And they're about as expensive: two hundred stinky-poo props don't come cheap.

If you can help, please visit
Paypal

(ignore the part about shipping and sales tax).

You'll hear what you've done very soon.

THANKS!!!
The Yes Men"

SLANDEROUS SUPPORTS MULTIMEDIA!!!!

The kids are alright, thank you very much!

From: editor@slanderous.org
To: "Curt Cloninger" <curt@lab404.com>
Sent: Friday, May 25, 2007 11:42:46 PM (GMT-0500) America/New_York
Subject: Re: RHIZOME_RAW: i am a martial artist

We think it should be the lyrics from Neil Young's Rockin' in the Free World.
There's colors on the street ...
No bodily harm, no training required.

Trained for Bodily Harm,
Curt "

CONGRESS FOR CULTURAL FREEDOM INVOLVED IN VOLUNTEER CONSPIRACY!!

Posted May 21, 2007

Just who's in paying the bills at our favorite watering hole?
Is Manik right!! Stay tuned (and duck when you hear a loud bang). Or is it a fight against the right? Were the volunteers acting on behalf of "The Company"?

MARISA AND LAUREN OVERTHROW VOLUNTEERS IN MYSTERY PLOT!!!

Posted May 20, 2007

MARISA OLSON'S edict earlier in the week, reclaiming the Rhizome front page for herself and Lauren was met with silence. Quoting Olson "After considerable deliberation we've decided to have our front page
news stream published by Rhizome staff only" .Have the two taken a leaf out of George Dubya's rules of engagement or was there more behind the scenes than we have been let on? Were the posters really poseurs? Is reblogging the desperate act of a feeble mind?

T.WHID STARS IN DRUNK VID

Posted May 06, 2007.

A video surfaced on the Internet showing a boozed up T.Whid swaying while he attempts to communicate with M. River.
In the video, taped by Marisa Olsen, Whid is despondent while the Rhizomer pleads with him to stop drinking. "T., you have to promise me you're not going to get alcohol tonight, OK? ... You hear me? No alcohol," says Olsen in the film.
In a statement, the Rhizome alum said: "I am a recovering alcoholic... Unfortunately, I did have a brief relapse, but part of recovery is relapse." The 34-year-old artist went into rehab a few years ago for his liquor addiction. Whid had his friends tape him when he's drunk so he can study his behavior

But is he really that buff...? who cares about the addiction.., well here we think he looks spanking good.

BRAD BRACE IGNORED ONCE AGAIN.

Posted April 30, 2007.

At Slanderous we rarely champion net artists, they just don't need us. But with Brad Brace we find ourselves at a loss. We know he has generated a number of original and important works and given freely to the Net Arts Community. Yet his combative personality and long standing feud with Art/Rat establishment figures has worked against him over the years. The Canada Council hates him thanks to his relationship with Tom Sherman (a former arts officer receiving a major grant!!!! Thats not OK even at the Enquirer ), and so do most academics. Is there a conspiracy to bury Brad by the gurus in Ottawa, Banff and Vancouver? Creators vs. Purveyors..., our money is on the Purveyors. Read Brads latest paen to honesty in the arts (you poor naive dude).

BRAD looking young and fit on the Eastern Beaches.

RIVER AND WHID CHECK INTO REHAB.

Posted April 24, 2007.

"We have made a proactive decision to take care of our personal health," they said. "We appreciate your well wishes and ask that you please respect ourprivacy at this time."

A source close to the artists tells SLANDEROUS: "The MTAA twins are in a very positive frame of mind and they are looking forward to making positive changes in their live."

MTAA has been filming the thriller Karaoke DeathMatch 100, and a rep for the twins tells SLANDEROUS production has slowed down since the two entered Rehab. "We hope that when they return to their normal lifestyle, the DeathMatch will continue. We should also remind the kids not to try this at home ", an MTAA spokesman was heard saying.

NEW MEDIA SILENT OVER VIRGINIA TECH MASSACRE

Posted April 18, 2007.

None of the new media gurus have commented on the Virginia State massacre. It's hard to comprehend, but at Slanderous we have to say, and this isn't political,you really don't need guns to get through the day . It is that simple. No Handguns, no Automatics, nothing. Why are they available? Pointless and sad to the worst degree. But the Glock website is cool to the max. People hunting devices in a globally distributed network.

NEUROMANCER AUTHOR, William Gibson is discovered in ARCHIVE VID!

Posted April 14, 2007.

Author of Neuromancer, and voice for a generation of New Media Artists has been discovered in an archived video at CBC Television. The new footage impacts the authors history, it is dated from 1967, not 1968, and as he strolls Yorkville (Toronto) he shows the attitude that would later influence the cyber era. Earlier accounts had him landing north of the border a full year later. At Slanderous we do our research!

TOO hot to handle!!! we like his younger video, when he was altruistic and full of love. was he just a hippie at heart when he found the digeratti?

CARY PEPPERMINT DISCOVERS MAX HERMAN IN BEDROOM CLOSET!

Posted April 12, 2007.

Cary Peppermint stood frozen in his tracks. After returning from a quiet night out with friends, Peppermint strolled into his bedroom only to find the larger than life Max Herman occupying his closet. "He just kept uttering the same thing in Ancient Greek, I was totally freaked!" said a startled and obviousely traumatized Peppermint.
Our sources tell us the Genius 2000 creator was just looking in on his old classmate. " I thought it would be nice to surprise him, I guess I went a little overboard...I should have phoned ahead." an apologetic Herman later stated.

Was MAx in the right place at the wrong time?

CHARLEMAGNE PALESTINE ENCOUNTERS THE EASTER BUNNY!

Posted April 7, 2007.

Charlemagne Palestine and his other half Aude, were surprised, and shocked to find the legendary Easter Bunny on their mantle in Brussels. The same bunny had showed up at Christmas. Is the founder of trance being stalked by an overzealous icon of the commercial degradation and repurcussion of the Last Supper? According to Charlemagne " Vat doo YOOU Propose VE DOOOO ?". We suggest ordering his music from Amazon. Music to Evolve with

Was the bunny just reacting to Palestine's earlier work
Music for Big Ears?

Is this a "big ear vendetta" or just a show of support?
We will keep all of you abreast of the latest news at slanderous.

PATRICK LICHTY SUBMITS TO ORLAN SURGERY IN THE HEART OF NEW ORLEANS GHETTO

Posted March 31, 2007.

Net Artist Patrick Lichty was caught up in a voodoo moment during a walk through in the deviated suburbs of New Orleans. The East Coast is the intellect of America, the West Coast is it's libido, but New Orleans is the Lust that drives the Nation.
As Patrick was walking through his home town, a gaggle of zombies grabbed him, he gave no resistance. Lying prostrate on their sacrificial altar Lichty was heard shouting, "Ye s.. yes... Man... yes". Stupefied by his groaning authorities decided to invade Iran.

Here is Patrick in happier times when he was working for the Yes Men. What happened America? When you lost your lust you lost everything.

CORY ARCANGEL STEALS THE SHOW! (but gets arrested!)

Posted March 29, 2007.
Internet and New Media Star Cory Arcangel was arrested by the FBI today. The exact charges are now on public record. Apparently Arcangel had graduated from stealing code to stealing the work of living artists. It all began after his talk at Columbia in 2004.
"I'm dismayed but nor surprised" said Rhizome founder Mark Tribe. Those Rhizomers who follow the artbase can relax for the time being.
"That won't stop Cory", said an excited T. Whid/M. River (see below), "They have wireless in there don't they?". It's a slow burn for the rising star, but we know he will get over this bump in the road.

Bail is set at $50.00.

New York City Police acting on behalf of the fbi, handcuff the aesthetic cleptomaniac in front of a Chelsea bar. has cory stolen anything from you? you can steal it back, he doesn't mind. but thats not cool cory.

M.RIVER AND T.WHID UNDER THE KNIFE!!!

Posted March 22, 2007.
M.River and T.Whid, the two artists who make MTAA work have undergone a major operation!

The two stars of the internet underground have been joined together on the body of a female weight lifter who died after lifting a tray full of leaden Pina Coladas. The weight lifter, who remains anonymous had donated her organs to the Center for Transplant Genetic Research.
When the two net-stars heard the body was available they jumped at the chance to get closer together.

"It's a dream come true, now whenever I look to my side, I see my partner smiling back at me!" declared T.Whid.

M. River was overheard saying, " We gave up a pair of hands for a lifetime together..all in all a great trade-off. Now we can share everything".

US Attorney Terry Flynn embroiled in Sex Charges

Posted March 12, 2007.
US Attorney Terry Flynn watches as his career goes down the tubes. Was the Attorney for the US Government really being honest when he stated that the pending trial for Steve Kurtz was an " idiots dilemma"?

While the fav of soon to be deposed Attorney General Alberto R. Gonzales looked upbeat at the pretrial hearing for the ludicrous charges levied against Steve Kurtz, aids tell us he is sweating buckets.

"Terry has to get his own house in order before he continues with this witch hunt" according to an an unnamed aide.

Apparently Flynn has been linked to biologic morphed human embryos that do his every bidding. According to Stanford Bio Tech experts Flynn has been having unprotected sex with petrie dishes and malformed human experiments! Will Flynn go down with the rest of the GOP legal arm? Enquiring minds will stay tuned.

Terry Flynn tells us he hates humanists, esp steves dad!!

STEVE : THE SEQUEL! REALITY SHOW BASED ON LIFE AS A SINGLE DAD!

Posted March 8, 2007.
Call it "Me and my Son"! Steve Read is pitching a new reality show based on his current situation - a clueless bachelor father with a fully grown twin son! Will Marisa line up for a Cameo?

While his supportive significant other remains in rehab after a monumental drug and booze meltdown, Read is hawking a reality show that focuses on his life as a single dad and estranged husband of an out-of-control net art star.

"Steve is ready for his second '15 minutes of fame,'" a source tells The ENQUIRER. "This time he wants to focus the cameras on his personal life as he assumes responsibility for his son. And he's not wasting any time getting the spotlight back on himself.

we will be posting pix of Steve breast feeding his new baby soon...

MARISA FUELS RECONCILIATION REPORTS WITH WEDDING BAND!!!

The artist left the Promises Treatment Center in Malibu, Calif., for her first supervised outing.

Despite the couple's rocky marriage, a source close to Hwang tells Us Weekly that once Olsen recovers, "Francis wants to get back together with her.

"He is her biggest supporter."

On February 24, just three days after the star checked into rehab, Hwang, Olsen's mother Lynne dropped by the facility for a two-hour visit.

The source adds, "It was a very emotional and happy family moment."

Here's Marisa's finger, her belly, hands etc.. We have documents to prove everything!!!

MARISA SHAVES HER LOCKS!

Posted February 21, 2007.

LEE WELLS CLAIMS PATERNITY IN THE ANNA NICOLE SMITH DEBACLE

Posted February 17, 2007

In the short history of slanderous we've bent pretty low. But now we are mining depths even we find disturbing. In a brief presented in Miami Daig County court docket 3, Marvin Prokhammer, the lawyer for NET ARTIST Lee Wells, has filed a paternity motion with the courts regarding parental rights to now deceased Anna Nicole Smith's newly born daughter,Dannie Lynn Hope. Mr. Prokhammer was short and to the point, "My client has rights, and we will be pursuing these rights all the way to the Supreme Court if necessary!". The judge acting on the case had no comment, but his aid was overheard saying "Now the truth is coming out, we can't wait to hear what Howard K. Stern has to say".

ALEX GALLOWAY SPOTS NEW JERSEY DEVIL!!

Posted February 12, 2007

It all started early Sunday morning, February 11, 2007. Alex Galloway, founder of Rhizome , saw a creature with glowing eyes flying down the street. On Fire Island, , NY , John Mcowen heard and saw the strange creature over Ocean Beach. Patrol James Sackville fired at the creature as it flew away screaming. E.W. Minister, Postmaster, also saw a bird-like creature with a horses head that had a piercing scream. When daylight came, the residents of Fair Harbour found hoof prints in the snow. Two local trappers said they had never seen tracks like those before. Why has the strange creature moved to a new state? many questions remain unanswered.

IS LAUREN CORNELL IN A RELATIONSHIP?

Posted February 09, 2007

Word on the street has Lauren Cornell, editor and chief whatsit @ rhizome enamoured with a the panda Tai Shan.

What can ever come of this relationship? Keep your fingers and legs crossed...

She looks happy we think, but what is the Panada thinking? Sounds like a science project to us.

STEVE READ TELLS ALL, (read about Steve's harrowing experience)

Posted February 07, 2007

Here's Steve and his new brother Steve in the studio, You can see he has the poor kid working on projects while he relaxes for the camera.

In Koh's immersive, typically monochromatic environments -- in which minimalist and baroque aspects of his sensibility vie for dominance -- a seemingly unknown ritual is about to take place, where a sense of loss simultaneously suggests regeneration.

Does this turtle deserve to fall off the face of virtual planet? You decide!

Giving birth for a man can be painfull, esp. when that man is Steve Read..